Its been 3 months since we have been together...everything is fine really...we have our ups and downs from time to time, just like any other regular couples i guess... we've been meeting everyday for 3 months straight...lol shes been really supportive when i m down...thats really wonderful and stuff...put it this way...i simply love the time i spent with her thou sometimes i cant stand her temper..she can get really gan chiong and with my 'relax la' attitude its not a good picture...get what i mean? lol... but boy she really need to chill down sometimes... being that worked up really cant make things go any faster or the way you want darling...anyway, i still love you very much... my world is all about you now...i cant tell you how long i will be with you but i really hope its gonna be a long time... and even if its short, i really want you to know you brought light to my dark life...
Actually, come to think of it LOVE is really a combination of happiness, anger and saddness...i dont know its just what i observed...one minute, you can be angry at the person and the next minute you can just forgive her and be happy all over again...lol amazing right?
I know sometimes i might be blur blur or wishy washy, specially when i drive(i m working on it ok?)... but its not like its easy to make certain choices when it comes to the person i care about... i dont know maybe i m not very experience in relationship... but at the same time i want to be the perfect boyfriend... its easy to say...come on be yourself thats enuff... no being myself is not enuff... i have flaws...i m never serious, careless, insensative, lazy even...if i be myself i dont think you, my darling can take it...we will be always fighting and it will all be over...trust me... i wont want to waste my time to be on a relationship which has nothing but fighting...
i like to drink and club... not always la and surely not recently cos super broke...fuck NS pay like shit... anyway, its been a part of my life even before we met...so i dont think i will stop... i know you dont like it... but what can i do? you are afraid i meet another girl there... cmon...with my looks i cant even get their name let alone knowing them further...lol besides i m not that charming and cool lol... so dont worry if i go club... let me tell you something i make the choice whether to make the first move or not..you know? if i dont approach those bitches, they wont even look at you... i mean i m not saying i m the king of clubbing but thats how it works...guys have to make the first move...its kinda sad but it is how it works... dont know how many times i must tell you but yea its all up to me...
well, you said if you dont care it means you dont take me seriously... we might as well end it... i agree...haiz... i cant stop you from worrying, the only way is to keep the part of my life all to myself cos i know we can never talk bout it... its never gonna end...lol i know you wont stop me if i tell i want to go...frankly, i think all couples should have some free time...some time of their own...private to him or her...its not like a dirty lil secret more like their own space to enjoy by themselves... i m sure you will feel that i m a jerk if i dont allow you to go out with your gal pals or complain that you are not spending time with you right? you will just think i m too obsessive... thats not good... maybe the saying absence makes the heart fonder... so i wont ever stop you from having fun with your friends and i really hope you wont too... the other alternative is we go clubbing together... lol but seriously, its gonna cost a bomb plus i hate to mix girlfriends with friends it rarely work... i wont want to be focusing on you when i m with my friends then what for i ask them out in the first place... and i wont want to talking to them all the time and neglect you...it will just add stress between us during the clubbing session... i bet you wont want to do the same too, cos its so hard to be juggling so much shit in a night...disgusting...thats why girlfriends and friends never works for me at least... so i make it a point not to club with my girlfriend...man...m i talking too much? lol...but the chance of you seeing this is quite little, i just have to tell you along the way... lol dont worry i m not complaining i just like to put things here, so i can recollect my thoughts...but if you do read my blog someday...please let me know...lol
now to commitments... remember there was once you asked me if we will always care bout each other... or something like if we will be forever... lol tell you the truth i wanted to say yes, but at the same time i know we are still so young... it might be over just like that... unless, we are sure we are gonna get married...but its so not possible cos i m in NS... and i have no stable income even after 2 years... and i still wanna study for a degree or something...so its so hard to reply...and i said lets take things one step at a time... and you were looking quite sad...i think its really true what they say bout girls they love sweet-talking no matter what they say... they are just too emotional... which reminds me of another saying, men they have sex first then they will love but women love first before theyhave sex...lol girls are just too emotional sometimes...that really explains why all the jerks get the chicks cos they know the rules of the game...lol anyway, back to me... hmmm... i really can see us together for a long time but i have no confidence in being together for 10 years... its really long long time... we might just break up tml or 3 to 4 years later... you might meet a better guy, why? there are so many reasons why it may happen... or we might just call it off, cos we both think its not going anywhere...nothing is impossible... as for now...i really want you know is i want us to be eternal...(romantic? lol) its true honey...
We had several fights...but the one that really sinks into me is the one where we were really pissed at each other when you think i wasnt concentrating when we out with your auntie...what really caused it i cant remember...i think its cos i shouted at you cos you were screaming on the phone... anyway, you were saying i dont tell whats going on in my life and you make it a point to tell me whats going on in yours...and you cant stand it when you need to keep on asking how i feel and stuff... ok... seriously, i talk a lot...so sometimes i like keeping quiet and i dont really like to talk bout my problems and unhappiness...i dont know why, its just me... i think a lot of guys do that...in the end, i know its bad for a relationship...lol i learnt it the wrong way... we need to talk bout stuff sometimes...serious stuff esp... how we feel, how we look at things...how we want things to go...stuff like that...it takes time...so dear, i will try to change this bad habit .... i will try to talk things out and not keep them in me...and just to let you know...you keep stuff in your heart too...and i have to dig it out too...and you want me to coax you lol aiyo...please la no games please....it will just drive me crazy...come to think of it, its frustrating too...lol anyway, we agreed no games...we are gonna tell each other if we're unhappy bout certain stuff... its never healthly to keep it in...
ok, i shag liao...need to kun...maybe i will write some more next post...or maybe not...good night ppl...peace(got gf not easy, yea la i newbie la...werent you one too?)
