<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/11176094?origin\x3dhttp://alwayscherished.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
lay on me.
i'm who i am.

C:\Users\user\Documents\Gavin\My Pictures\XMAS09\IMG_5073.JPG

I'm a guy who ONLY love life.
Oh yes, I love hangout with friends and drink myself silly too, :D

strike out.

I want king
I wanna be queen too

hate talking.

Cbox recomended, perhaps w counter.

usual exits.

my lover
my gay lover
my lesbian lover
my bi lover

my days and surely not yours.

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
January 2007
March 2007
July 2007
November 2009
July 2010

thank you and piss off.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
Hosts: x o x

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Actually, I should have wrote all this much earlier...but i was having second thoughts bout putting my feelings on the web again... cos the last attempt kinda screwed me up...plus i was lost and still recovering from rejection yet again...*sighs*

Anyway, I think from april till july of this year really sucked for me... why? all because of my navie thoughts bout love...haha..thinking that giving is better than receiving... during that time, i thought it was all gonna be worthwhile...Boy!! was i so wrong!! but now i can think clearly now, without all those love hormones clouding my mind...yippee...really guys!! i dont think theres another as dumb as me... knowing that the girl has everything else in her mind but me and i still do things for her and spend all my energy on her... fucking stupid... should have gave up the moment i knew i cant have to the chance to screw her...*shakes head* sorry to all those ppl who told me to give up and move on haha...i didnt listen... ok come to think of it, her attuide towards me, like she said has always been the same... (shall not go into the details or else this entry will be very long...)...but i was too convinced that she was playing hard to get... thats why i never stop trying to win her heart... dumbass move!!! on the other hand, it takes two hands to clap... if she would rejected me from the moment she knew that i actually liked her and shes still waiting for her ex boyfriend...and not continue giving me hope that something might happen between us...ok reasonable doubt, maybe she did tell me to give up... i think it wasnt firm enough, so i thought she was joking or just that she didnt tell me her true feelings, reacalling all the conversations we had, she was thinking most of the time, even if i talk bout my feelings or stories, she will change the topic back to her life...haha i think she wasnt interested in my life or my thoughts what so ever...seriously, i think it might change alot of things if i was pushed away hard or whacked hard...haha(i m those kind of people who has high pain tolerance)... frankly, i was really confused during those few months... it was really like hell for me... with all the images of the past few months flashing through my mind now, i m still feeling dumb for investing all those feelings... yes i admit...recently, i have been running away from any chance of meeting her... cos the very thought of seeing her again, we're still friends i guess...but it still kinda makes me feel uncomfortable and dumb, i know i dont feel as sad now as i do before, still the feelin sucked...and i hate it... i really wish she didnt know how i felt... and i never did all that shit to think that she will be touched...cock!! ok i shall never talk bout her anymore... shes as good as a closed chapter in history!

i really suck at reading signs from a girl... i can never know what shes thinking... if she has feelings for me or not...i m so fucking ignorant...god!! thats a skill to me or maybe its just common sense to some people... take my ex for example, my best friend told me she likes me... and i m like no way... how can she like someone like me?...so ugly and all the bad things you can think of... and he was like ok! lets wait and see... yea he was right... fuck right? not saying its a bad thing to like me...but its just weird how he knows all this... we only went out a few times for a movie and sms each other at times... ok maybe plus we bummed quite a few times before we went into a relationship...why she will like me just like that? funny right? its fate i guess... it didnt last either... like they say: hao ju hao san... oh yea i know i need to really open my eyes, heart and think if i really wanna read ppl not just girls... lol

I gonna stay out of the boy girl thing for a while... but if i ever like another girl again... you wont see me putting it on this site... unless shes already my girl hahah!!! i m gonna be hush hush bout it... lol who am i kidding...with two years of NS coming... havin a girl waitin for you is just a dream that might never come through... lol...hey this funny thought just popped up...when not in a relationship a guy will think bout girls, a girl might not think bout any guy... when in a relationship a guy will still think bout girls , whereas a girl just thinks bout the guy...lol think bout it people!!!


♥ 4:12 PM