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lay on me.
i'm who i am.

C:\Users\user\Documents\Gavin\My Pictures\XMAS09\IMG_5073.JPG

I'm a guy who ONLY love life.
Oh yes, I love hangout with friends and drink myself silly too, :D

strike out.

I want king
I wanna be queen too

hate talking.

Cbox recomended, perhaps w counter.

usual exits.

my lover
my gay lover
my lesbian lover
my bi lover

my days and surely not yours.

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
January 2007
March 2007
July 2007
November 2009
July 2010

thank you and piss off.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
Hosts: x o x

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Yup its another night without sleep and i got to work tomorrow... havent got enuff sleep these past week... max i got was 5 hours... even if i m feeling very tired or haven sleep or rest for a day..i cant really get to sleep... i know the reason...but...sigh.... gets fucked up just thinking bout it... trying to climb out the hole i m so helplessly struck in... i m really that useless?..yea i think i m... very... very useless... friends can only advice me... i have to help myself... no one can help me... once theres feelings involved... it cant be taken back... lol now i feel that i m lost again... not confident anymore... dont think that everything is funny anymore... acting crazy has became a shield to me now... to protect my heart... it cant take another blow... maybe a slient rejection is better than one thats told face to face... but it still hurts like hell... no one likes to be rejected...NO ONE... everyone wants to be loved and always cherished... eh sounds like someones blog...lol not funny... never been lucky in the matters of the heart... NEVER!!!... thats what makes me question...why? lol couldnt take it this morning... once i heard Iris by Goo Goo Dolls i cant help but cry... its been so so long since i cried so painfully like that... (please anyone whose reading keep this part to yourself...dont ever ask me bout it...) i hate crying... esp if its because of this dumb and fucked up reason... i want to feel happy... i want people around me to feel happy... esp the one i care bout... haiz... i know i need time... another girl... another way to forget...to let go... now... the least that i can be glad is we re still friends... haiz...still friends... lol dunno want to cry or laugh... yea i know i m talking cock... i care a lot bout her...but when i see her and she rather talk to someone else just makes me feel stupid... cock... shes not interested in you la... what for you wanna make yourself suffer? youre Gavin for gods sake... you dont deserve all this shit... still im still struck in all that shit... lol....got this sour sour and pain pain feeling...sour till i can taste it in my food.... actually...appetite havent been good recently... food hasnt been tasting good... even good food... man... i just want to forget all this... but its so hard... haiz... wah its nearly 4am... still dont feel like sleeping... dun feel like doing anything... feel like sitting on bed and rot... haha rotting..she likes to do that...lol sigh... never mind la...been single almost all of my life... so fuck it...


♥ 2:48 AM