Haiz dont know why nowadays cannot sleep lei... but i really can feel the tiredness in my bones and eyes...like whole body loh... ahhh.... but once i wake up i think of someppl...then i cant sleep liao... its like auto one loh... if i force myself to sleep i will tose and turn... and i think i m smoking heavily these two weeks...like a lot more loh... i dunno why loh...sian...
To me shes like a drug... i cant go to bed without talking to her... ahhh i wish i can... i cant stand it.... at times of the day i will suddenly think of her and start to miss her so much... wondering whats shes doing?... is she tired?...cos she says shes always tired...feel like sleeping la... but i cant tell her... i dont want her to feel weird...
i wish i can msg her hey i miss you a lot....
i think bout you the moment i open my eyes... ahhh...
when i see a RVF 400 (or its just RVF lol forget liao) or any sports bike passing my work place i think of you... but i know you will think of him when you see a RVF...
i took an interest in bikes because you said you like them A LOT.... although i tell you i love cars...but if nowadays i meet any biker friends i will ask them more bout bikes loh...
aiya sian la... i know its really means nothing if i do all this things... cos it really depends whose doing it loh... boring lah... we ve been talking for quite sometime... and you still talk bout him... nothing is not related to him... it really cuts me deep deep loh... but youre like so happy and excited when you talk bout your past with him, so i just keep quiet loh and answer orh and ah loh...like act like interested...but i m so fucking not loh...cant take it liao, then try to change topic loh...
you say you want a TRIBAL tattoo on your finger... i know whats the reason why you want to do it... but i cant tell you not to do it... i m just this dumb dumb guy who wants to wait for you...
its really weird loh.... youre not my type of girl i will like... i like tall chicks...nice ass...long legs... with a bit ang moh pai look... the girls i like in the past all have at least two of the conditions... but you... have non and i still like you like hell... the things i do for you, the heartache i had and still having for you its nothing compared to all of them combined... but do you know? i dont think so... i think you really dont care... yea you have the right not to care... i use to get excited when i see a hott girl... i will be like super crazy... but nowadays i feel like i m not that concern bout them... i dont even scan as much for girls in the train, in shopping centres or my work place... i feel that i dream when i m doing anything now... i really dream... sigh.... you know?...i m lost again... you told me... you dont want me to be your second choice... cos youre scared you would hurt me... but i dont mind, hurt the shit out of me PLEASE... yes its a selfish and immatured thought but love is selfish, its blind, its fucked up, its happy, its sad... i want you so bad, its my desire to want you that keeps me going... i dunno how long it will last la... but i think quite difficult la...i m so fucking afraid that you will find me irritating and not talk to me, not msg me.... sometimes i wish you not to be so friendly to me, not call me, not msg me but i cant... i will ahhh feel like shit...
when i see your msg during, before or after work all the tiredness and sianness just goes away... when you ask me if i tired when we chat to wee hours of the night...i will say no... cos talking to you makes me more awake...but i know are sleepy when you ask me...but you pai seh to tell me to hang up ba...lol... i like to hear your voice, i like to hear you laugh over the phone...better if i can see you laugh when we go out...
actually, i wanted to find and buy that perfume on Ebay (cos u say out of stock liao) with this weird name but when i heard her ex likes it too then i didnt want to buy...
actually, its good for me to hear the things he did with you... cos i will know what not to do and think of my own sweet things to do with you... if ever theres this chance...which i doubt so badly will happen...
friends say that i should not wait...should fuck this rubbish.... but i cannot wor... i am already very down...if still want me not to contact you i cant handle lor... if i go talk to other girls i will take them as you... its not fair oso right? yea like you care... even if i fuck them oso like that... but i cant do it...i m not this kind of person... you know what kind person i m ? no i dont think so... dont think you care oso... you know you will be one and only person i miss most and be the most likely person i will call when i m in the US? do you know i dont feel like going now?...although, i say i want to go so badly... man i need to go to work... two hours for a blog...its 1130 now lol...sian la...will you msg me when you wake up? thou i m down down down, i m still looking forward for it... sigh...buye bye...sian....
