Ehh... Went for my once a fortnight facial...lol sigh i didnt like the lady who was doing it for me...i dunno i just think shes not as good and detailed as Aunty Annie...lol but anyhow wats dones done... but if the manager whats her name...ehhh? cant remember... she did my first facial omg... power wor...can feel the diff...the skill, the touch, all diff one... then later went to Zhenhaos place and slacked till 5 plus...lol then later went to meet Amy...cos she didnt think i would go down to CWP to meet her for dinner...just dinner... told her liao... see who ask me... she like shi meh? kaos... dunno she touched not... haiz... aiya she dont think she cares if i was to go to south pole to meet her for tea la... but if she there i would do that ba... after tea then i go back to Singapore never mind one... passed her the birthday present...ok la she msg me later, saying that she likes it and thanked me.. mahhahahaha...ok loh a bit happy loh... i hope she really reads it... very touching book(The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks)... their loves so omg...lol... i feel that in the end the male a bit like me...lol just waiting only... waiting for his wife to remember herself and their love...lol dunno how that fucker think of all this shit to write... so moving... boo hoo!!! then while i was sending Xiong he just send his gf home... then we drove to Seletar Res. he in his Subaru WRX STI..omg less than 3 months old... its really a very powerful car... damn...some ppl just have the good life... oh well i have a car too but still... its not mine... talked cocked for a while... then we went home... called Amy but she was watching i have an appointment with a vampire part 3... so a bit distracted la... so i asked her to put the phone down msg me later if she still wants to talk... then i kinda dozed off...lol this morning then saw her msg... lol the story of Monday is officially over.... so till next blog...

♥ 10:24 AM

Finally on Sat i finally met up with Ivan... and we went out again on Sunday...played pool and talked so much cock... lol sometimes really dont know how life will be without such a good friend... but too bad he dont club...good boy la he... he cant drink one... but oso good la.. no wonder he has such good skin...no smoke, no drink, no club... always play soccer... i wish i like him oso... sunshine boy... i m moonlight boy... lol wah but last night... theres this two chicks at pot black..omg... hot hot hot... one came with her bf... short white skirt...light purple spaghetti stripe... tall girl, bout my height... flawless face...shoulder length hair... beautiful hands...omg... they were playing beside our table... all of us cant help but look at her... lol what to do she was the hottest chick in there... then later Ivans and Nicks camp mates came to play pool too... wasnt pre arranged la... bout 30 mins later the second girl came...guess what she was their friend... omg... even hotter than the onther one... damn...fuckers get all the chicks... my focus changed to her instantly... lol another tall girl... her face damn cute... meat meat one... imagine planting a kiss on her cheek? lol high ah... big round eyes... big sunshine smile... long wavy hair(favourite sia)... figure tight sia...ahhh... really a babe... pretty isnt the word to describe her... it should be amazing looking... havent seen this type of girl for a long time... whats more shes a left hander lol... Ivan noticed it first lol... but really she looks really wholesome...damn fine... but his friend fucker la...didnt intro her to ah van and nick... got hole no brother liao la... but see his up to something face, know his pattern liao la... true enough... never mind, i find my own...

After that we went for some prata at Park Lane...yummy but i cant finish them again...dont know why nowadays cant finish my food... Mummy cook one still can wor... dont know la... fetch them back home in the end.. wah super tired last night during pool already felt like sleeping.. worse when i was driving... esp while driving alone after dropping Nick off... yawnin non stop.... cant take it... luckily, smoked a stick before moving off from his place... finally reached home...took a bath... felt so much better... then called Amy...lol Amy si bo? lol but sian la... hear bout her ex again... felt like hanging up, but i know she not purposely one... talked till 3 plus ba... then i auto shut down liao... lol nth to write le wor... bye

♥ 10:26 AM

Haiz dont know why nowadays cannot sleep lei... but i really can feel the tiredness in my bones and eyes...like whole body loh... ahhh.... but once i wake up i think of someppl...then i cant sleep liao... its like auto one loh... if i force myself to sleep i will tose and turn... and i think i m smoking heavily these two weeks...like a lot more loh... i dunno why loh...sian...

To me shes like a drug... i cant go to bed without talking to her... ahhh i wish i can... i cant stand it.... at times of the day i will suddenly think of her and start to miss her so much... wondering whats shes doing?... is she tired?...cos she says shes always tired...feel like sleeping la... but i cant tell her... i dont want her to feel weird...
i wish i can msg her hey i miss you a lot....
i think bout you the moment i open my eyes... ahhh...
when i see a RVF 400 (or its just RVF lol forget liao) or any sports bike passing my work place i think of you... but i know you will think of him when you see a RVF...
i took an interest in bikes because you said you like them A LOT.... although i tell you i love cars...but if nowadays i meet any biker friends i will ask them more bout bikes loh...
aiya sian la... i know its really means nothing if i do all this things... cos it really depends whose doing it loh... boring lah... we ve been talking for quite sometime... and you still talk bout him... nothing is not related to him... it really cuts me deep deep loh... but youre like so happy and excited when you talk bout your past with him, so i just keep quiet loh and answer orh and ah loh...like act like interested...but i m so fucking not loh...cant take it liao, then try to change topic loh...

you say you want a TRIBAL tattoo on your finger... i know whats the reason why you want to do it... but i cant tell you not to do it... i m just this dumb dumb guy who wants to wait for you...
its really weird loh.... youre not my type of girl i will like... i like tall chicks...nice ass...long legs... with a bit ang moh pai look... the girls i like in the past all have at least two of the conditions... but you... have non and i still like you like hell... the things i do for you, the heartache i had and still having for you its nothing compared to all of them combined... but do you know? i dont think so... i think you really dont care... yea you have the right not to care... i use to get excited when i see a hott girl... i will be like super crazy... but nowadays i feel like i m not that concern bout them... i dont even scan as much for girls in the train, in shopping centres or my work place... i feel that i dream when i m doing anything now... i really dream... sigh.... you know?...i m lost again... you told me... you dont want me to be your second choice... cos youre scared you would hurt me... but i dont mind, hurt the shit out of me PLEASE... yes its a selfish and immatured thought but love is selfish, its blind, its fucked up, its happy, its sad... i want you so bad, its my desire to want you that keeps me going... i dunno how long it will last la... but i think quite difficult la...i m so fucking afraid that you will find me irritating and not talk to me, not msg me.... sometimes i wish you not to be so friendly to me, not call me, not msg me but i cant... i will ahhh feel like shit...

when i see your msg during, before or after work all the tiredness and sianness just goes away... when you ask me if i tired when we chat to wee hours of the night...i will say no... cos talking to you makes me more awake...but i know are sleepy when you ask me...but you pai seh to tell me to hang up ba...lol... i like to hear your voice, i like to hear you laugh over the phone...better if i can see you laugh when we go out...
actually, i wanted to find and buy that perfume on Ebay (cos u say out of stock liao) with this weird name but when i heard her ex likes it too then i didnt want to buy...
actually, its good for me to hear the things he did with you... cos i will know what not to do and think of my own sweet things to do with you... if ever theres this chance...which i doubt so badly will happen...

friends say that i should not wait...should fuck this rubbish.... but i cannot wor... i am already very down...if still want me not to contact you i cant handle lor... if i go talk to other girls i will take them as you... its not fair oso right? yea like you care... even if i fuck them oso like that... but i cant do it...i m not this kind of person... you know what kind person i m ? no i dont think so... dont think you care oso... you know you will be one and only person i miss most and be the most likely person i will call when i m in the US? do you know i dont feel like going now?...although, i say i want to go so badly... man i need to go to work... two hours for a blog...its 1130 now lol...sian la...will you msg me when you wake up? thou i m down down down, i m still looking forward for it... sigh...buye bye...sian....

♥ 9:07 AM

she loves Honda RVF400 pt2 

♥ 8:37 PM

she loves Honda RVF400 

♥ 8:36 PM

the day started with lunch with Amy and mummy... we ate hotdogs...lol yea it was quite funny... hotdogs...lol hahaha... i had a long hotdog, both of them prefered a thicker one lol... haiz...sian... then later met Kaijie and went Queenstown for a afternoon shop... bought lots of shit... two shirts, two ear studs, one ear piercing...then we went to HMV and i bought two CDs...OMG pocket got hole already...lol everything kinda went well during the earlier part of the day...sian lol...

after that we went to meet Amy since i knew she was heading there... Ivan kinda gave me an aeroplane lol... ok he cancelled on me...lol cos he had to book in early...sian i was looking forward to meet him... lol ok soon after Pengs came... and all of us stroked down to Far EAst for yet another shopping tour Jie bought two Polo shirts and the girls bought ear studs... suppose to wait for Mavis... spell wrong ar? dun care la...lol as for dinner we went to NYDC to wait for her..cos i was hungry... but only us guys ate,.... the girls want to wait here wait there...what to do... oh actually Amy waited...Pengs dont huan lo too much ate some of her dears food... mine came first..she was like wah like very good hor...then i wanted to like huan lo... but her dear beside me la... i scared... but i know Amy will just sit there and see show only... haiz...standard one lah... NUMB LIAO...(familiar hor?) but if she want or like to see show i can everyday let her see oso, popcorn and drinks provided... Elaine finally came and all of us finally ate.. and all of them send me home wor...so sweet right?!!!! kaos.... i was so touched till i dug my nose for them to see... lol not funny...

aiya today i all the way not funny la... i know i everytime like that la... but wat to do i so cock... cock till some ppl keeps giving attitude i oso want to wait for some ppl... dunno can wait for how long la... going overseas liao... going to NS liao... going to no hair liao... ok la hair not really important to me... but really la...if during all those "going to" time she finds or she got founded by someone else... then all the best to her and "All THE BEST TO ME" loh... seriously la, you happy equals i happy... but i really hope, if u can just open up a lil and tune the attitude shit down a gear... u might feel better...not everyone u oso need to give attitude one loh... like good friends...ur sistas...not everyone will backstab you, actually this u must know how to look at ppl loh...observe how they act in life...how they treat ppl all that shit...when u dont know them well...keep quite and watch first loh...very chim la...when i publish book then i ask u to buy lol not funny...but hor u know tons of ppl cares bout you...if u want u can give me all the attitude la...full force osos can...i really dont care loh... u got responds better than no responds... although, it hurts...but i m not scared of the pain.... cos i numb liao... haiz... dunno lah maybe not fully numb like Kaijie...hope u think bout it loh... ok not shit to write liao...ppl go F yourselves....bye...

♥ 12:09 PM

Didnt sleep two nights ago... totally no sleep... and when to work for a 10 hours shft... got home only at 11... why didnt i sleep? yea girl problems... but it wasnt all the girls fault, most of it was mine... and she msg me saying that she thinks she knows why i was feeling down...is it because of her?....then i got really really really mad that i totally blew her off when she told me she wants to talk... sigh... but later after i cooled down...i thought i must have hurt her feelings, i could have screw things up between me and her... i thought we wont even be friends... then i msged sorry msgs to her... praying that everything will be ok... and whats worst was my phone was totally flat...so once i finished work i caught a cab and went home... plugged in the charger and sat there and see if there was any reply from her... luckily got sia...or i wont be able to sleep for another night.... so i called and we talked... talked bout our feelings... and it wasnt as bad as i thought... seriously, i know what shes going through... thats why i didnt tell her like...hey i like u a lot...can u be my girl?... and i m so afraid that she knows...so i asked her friends if she knows but they are like maybe, i dunno all that crap... cos i thought things might change if i told her how i felt... we might start being weird...cos it happened to me all the time... you know? but ok loh... she let me down gently... she was really tactful... it was actually a rejection really... but from another point of view, she kinda made it sound like a errmz...a change of pace?... a jump to the next level?..i dunno but watever it is i m glad we r still friends and according to her we r good friends...lol but i really feel so so much better after i told her how i felt...but actually she already knew how i felt...like a long time ago... shes been reading me blog...how disgusting is that? and she told me she didnt... kaoz... but she did say her six sense(forgot girls had this power) told her that i wasnt willing just to be a friend... and she knows i m concern bout her, she knows i care... hey this isnt that bad, at least she knows i care... thats really more than enough... a guy cant ask for more...lol my hearts not hurting anymore... its actually beating now... lol ok gonna meet her for lunch later... i know its gonna be weird but i think its gonna be weird in a good way... lol i hope... ok no more shit to write... bye

♥ 8:26 AM

Yup its another night without sleep and i got to work tomorrow... havent got enuff sleep these past week... max i got was 5 hours... even if i m feeling very tired or haven sleep or rest for a day..i cant really get to sleep... i know the reason...but...sigh.... gets fucked up just thinking bout it... trying to climb out the hole i m so helplessly struck in... i m really that useless?..yea i think i m... very... very useless... friends can only advice me... i have to help myself... no one can help me... once theres feelings involved... it cant be taken back... lol now i feel that i m lost again... not confident anymore... dont think that everything is funny anymore... acting crazy has became a shield to me now... to protect my heart... it cant take another blow... maybe a slient rejection is better than one thats told face to face... but it still hurts like hell... no one likes to be rejected...NO ONE... everyone wants to be loved and always cherished... eh sounds like someones blog...lol not funny... never been lucky in the matters of the heart... NEVER!!!... thats what makes me question...why? lol couldnt take it this morning... once i heard Iris by Goo Goo Dolls i cant help but cry... its been so so long since i cried so painfully like that... (please anyone whose reading keep this part to yourself...dont ever ask me bout it...) i hate crying... esp if its because of this dumb and fucked up reason... i want to feel happy... i want people around me to feel happy... esp the one i care bout... haiz... i know i need time... another girl... another way to forget...to let go... now... the least that i can be glad is we re still friends... haiz...still friends... lol dunno want to cry or laugh... yea i know i m talking cock... i care a lot bout her...but when i see her and she rather talk to someone else just makes me feel stupid... cock... shes not interested in you la... what for you wanna make yourself suffer? youre Gavin for gods sake... you dont deserve all this shit... still im still struck in all that shit... lol....got this sour sour and pain pain feeling...sour till i can taste it in my food.... actually...appetite havent been good recently... food hasnt been tasting good... even good food... man... i just want to forget all this... but its so hard... haiz... wah its nearly 4am... still dont feel like sleeping... dun feel like doing anything... feel like sitting on bed and rot... haha rotting..she likes to do that...lol sigh... never mind la...been single almost all of my life... so fuck it...

♥ 2:48 AM

Ok been awake for at least 18 hours just now... I finished a 12 hour shift and went out with my beautiful friends to KTV... we sang for bout 3 hours to 4 hours... got home at bout 730am in the morning...yawnz... but I cant sleep...ah... well I did for bout 2 hours and I just cant anymore so I came here to make myself feel sleepy lol...doesnt seem to working... lol my lousy curtains cant block the lousy sunlight properly...ah... it really sucks... ah... ok I think its working... my eyes are closing... sleeping time...till I wake up...

♥ 11:15 AM

ahh...whats that..ahh I like...hehe 

♥ 8:00 PM

Ewww 

♥ 7:59 PM

He aint heavy hes my brother 

♥ 7:55 PM

Kangyan and Me 

♥ 7:40 PM

Me and Elaine 

♥ 7:39 PM

Amy and Me 

♥ 7:37 PM

Oh My Freaking God... I have completed the saga, watched Starwars Episode 3 on the day it released...well I wont say I didnt enjoy it... the evil that took over young Skywalker was astonishing... to me he was totally naive when Lord Sidious recuited him to the darkside...at first you may think he did it to save his lover... but in the end when he found that he gain so much power as a Sith Lord... he wasnt willing to give up his new found strength... seriously, he totally had it coming... from the day he became a jedi, he always wanted more... i dunno Starwars is very much like the world we live in just without the lightsabers... the way Lord Sidious gained power is very much like Hitler, Stalin and past dictators in history - all of them gained power slowly till they controlled every single aspect of the country... then they betray everyone of them and become the only one with all the power... although, they are seen as evil rulers in history...but theres one thing we can learn from them... they can make people around them have the trust in him...in a way they are excellent leaders.... they know how to recuit talented people to help them archive their goals... they know their weaknesses, their strength and how to manipulate them for their own gains... power can really corrupt a person... I believe all the politicians in the world right now in one way or another have done some bad things in their climb to the top... to me politicians are a bunch of amazing people, they can gain the respect and trust of millions... they are also incredible actors, there should be an Oscar just meant for them...lol well, as long as they do their job and run the country I live in properly, I ll still vote for them... gtg to work now...later....

♥ 10:56 AM

*Heavy Machine Breathing*
Voice : Lord Vader....
Darth Vadar: Yes Master?
Voice: Rise.....
*DarthVaders Theme*

HAha..final installment baby... so excited... I m so hoping that I m gonna watch it ASAP...ahhh...lol I really hope its really dark and evil... yea...!!!

Why does it hurts when she doesnt msg?
Why does it hurt even more to see her msg?
Was she really concern when she asks if I m home yet?
Were there feelings involved? Or was she just asking cos she treats me as her friend?
Why can she chat with me almost every night but not look me in the eye when shes talking to me in person?
Why doesnt she look at me when we were sitting opposite one another?
Am I like a person whom she can talk to, just so she could pass time?
Does she ever notice that ALL SHE EVER TALKS ABOUT IS HER EX?
Do you think she isnt really interested when I tell her my stories in life?
Do you know sometimes I wish I cant FEEL at all?
Do you know that I m supposed to be the one confusing her?
Does she know that is very unlikely that I dont pick up her calls?
You know? I tried not replying her msg but it only last a few hours...
there are so many questions I could think of right now... why this? why that? questions that no one could answer... but her... revealing my feelings isnt really an option cos I dont think I want another rejection... but I wanna be more than just friends with her...
I wanna eat all the food she prepares...
I wanna learn how to cook and cook for her...
I wanna fetch her home from work everyday...
I wanna tuck her in when she wants to sleep...
I wanna know what she likes and what she doesnt...
I wanna listen to her worries..
I wanna take good care of her everyday...
I wanna be the one opening doors for her...
I wanna plan a surprise birthday for her...
I wanna take care of her if shes sick...
I wanna get a bike licence cos she said she likes getting a ride on bikes...
I wanna look at her when shes asleep...
I wanna pamper her so much that she might feel like a queen...
I want her always to be happy...
theres too many "I wannas" I wanna do with her... too bad they are just another part of my imagination...they will never come true.... I think I will always be just a friend...no more no less... and she will never know that she is always more than just a friend to me...

♥ 1:16 AM

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away... there was a young girl...her name was Elaine...
Elaine was working late last night...din knock off till 11 plus... as she was on the way home and her tummy cried out...I m hungry... just as she thought she was gonna sit at home and eat her Fav cup noodles... a few of her friends called her for a conference call... one of them thought she might be hungry after a long day of work as the Force wasnt really with her... proceed to make an offer of going for prata... and the midnight prata journey began for these four young people... *Starwars beginning theme*

TWO MORE DAYS TO Starwars Episode 3 : Revenge of the Sith

♥ 1:13 PM

Its been a very HECTIC working week...pheww... so glad its over... finally some rest ... no more plates and bowls for the next two days at least... hmmm actually not much happened during these two days...cos Im working and my friends wasnt partying during the weekends...lol well they did ask me to watch a movie but it was too far away...yea...so my weekends were kinda boring... lol

Actually, it wasnt such a bad weekend for me... at least I had time to do what I m supposed to do... you cant be having fun all the time... right? at least it keeps me busy... i didnt need to worry bout what to do or what to eat during meals time... I have my working buddies to keep me company, and whats important is that I am freaking paid...under-paid of course... but still... I enjoy working there... its loud, its fun and its my territory...mua mua muahahaha....!!!!! and the amount of chicks I see at work everyday... really gives me the motivation and the drive to continue working...lol yea its all about the chicks man... yes eye candy is my kind of drug... provides me with unlimited highness...lol is there such a word?

Time for some changes in life... for example a new cell phone, some new clothes and a new pair of shoes...lol should I go shopping tomorrow? hmm... but with who? alone? lol I shall see how things goes...but its really about time to pamper MYSELF... ohh how I miss doing that...lol Mummys been askin me bout my music lessons...yes I did learn how to sing when I was 16 and Ive been singing for 4 to 5 years... but I stopped last year, because I went to pick up playing the keyboard...it was very expensive if I did both at the same time... so I gave up singing... as for the keyboard, I needed to make long trips to the US every school vacation....so its kinda hard to follow up with my music class...so I kinda stopped too... yea... put some thought into it. I think I m gonna continue learning it during my NS period... wished I learnt it when I was much younger...kinda regretting right now... how cool it is to master some music skills, write your own songs, sing them yourself... lol... even if I couldnt compose , I could still sing and play other peoples songs just by listening to them... sigh..... I miss my vocal trainings too... I really feel that my standard has gone down... I can hear for myself that I dont sound as good as I use to be... ahhh and I hate that... oh well... its really late...so I shall not ponder too much and go to sleep...NIGHTS............

♥ 2:14 AM

Yea i got back to work yesterday after a day of self-declaired off haha...worked a full day... so tired right now... 12 hours man... how can i not be? Oh well at least i got to watch One Tree Hill last night... oh man... one love story after the other... its a really cool show... frankly i m hooked...lol theres this line this guy told another guy... "Guys like me dont get girls like her and guys like you dont care..." sad sad line...its really sad...it seems like a line for me... lol

Talked to Amy last night, hmm she seemed troubled but she wont give me the details... i wish i knew... i think its bout money or some other shit... it really sucks to know shes unhappy... i could already tell with the Hello she gave me... it wasnt the usual chirpy Hello which she use to give me... i know i m just her FRIEND and she dont have to tell me everything thats happening in her life... but deep down i would want to know... i wish to help her... if its bout money i can give her all my pay, if that can solve her problem...she dont have to return me the money...really... if that amount of money can make happy i m so willing to do so... i dont really need the money anyway... but ahhh... i know she wont accept my offer and i m just her FRIEND... seriously i wont want her to work part time at some pubs... cos its tiring and its a really messy place to work in...you have to drink with the customers, breathe in all the smoke... AHHH... but what the hell can i say? i cant discourage her... i cant... i m no one... Oh well but Elaines gonna be working with her so i m quite sure she will take good care of her... geezz i really care bout her...but does she know? haha i dont think she cares how i feel... i may always be acting crazy and cracking lame lame jokes but i really care...its just the way i m... i cant act mature or like i m older... its just not me... lol she wont like guys younger than her...hahahahahaha... yes i m younger!! so what? whats the problem? is it really bout age? isnt how i feel bout her that matters? yes! i might not understand her OLDER PROBLEMS, but i m so willing to LISTEN...

i m trying so hard not to think bout her cos it hurts... lol... trying so hard to find her weaknesses to cover her good points...so maybe i might dislike her and not feel that much for her... lol...too bad its still not happening... these are the reasons why i hate to like any girl... it hurts on any level... and i m always on the same level... the FRIENDS level... nothing further... sometimes i dont have a conscience, none at all... so i can be a bastard...cos the bastard always get the girls they want... and they always dont seem to care if the relationship doesnt work out... gonna end with that sad sad line "Guys like me dont get girls like her and guys like you dont care..."

♥ 10:13 AM

ok ppl i m back from weeks of isolation... internet down... now its fixed... i m very happy... ok lots of things happened... works a bummer...love lifes a bummer as usual... happy stuffs happened too... oh our family trip to NYC, is gonna go accordin to plan... NYC, then to Seattle, then to Taiwan(hopefully)... a long holiday before NS...so happy... gonna spend sometime with my family...Mum, Dad and Younger brother..... hope its gonna be fun, no fights i pray... hmmm gonna see my uncles and aunts over there too, and granny...lol dunno shes still mad at me? its over some stuff which i was suppose to pass it to my auntie here... but everyones so busy back then... she has her own company to run you know? and i dont know where she stay and stuff and her hp number...aiya its not my fault loh... and she oso like not interested like that cos the stuff is for her ex hubby... granny very petty one...sia...but i dont care lah... i dun owe her anything... anyway... lifes been alright this past week... i spent my time with friends, Mom and i worked too...so its cool
oh yea Ivans back, met up with him two days ago, he came to my place for a bath and his Mom bought food for me lol...got some gifts from him, we talked and laughed lol hes such a good friend...he said taiwan was boring lol and he ran out of money and he couldnt buy a pair of shoes he saw lol pity him sia...ok not really...then later we went out to meet Chew Hwa..lol played some arcade , i had to send him to Pasir Ris for his book in lol
And i went out with Elaine, Amy, Serena and Kaijie for coffee after work lol..Serena really joker sia...kao...lol had lots of fun, thou..its kinda tiring...but still its fun...ok thats it..till later blog...

♥ 12:32 PM

Why did you make her cry WJ? fucking bastard... you like her, got her and you fucking dont know how to treasure what you fucking got... yea first time so what? you fucking know how to kiss but you know shit bout loving her? girls have tantrum what? not only her loh... they want attention what...why the fuck must you look at girls while youre out with her?.... the most fucked up thing bout you is you FUCKING MADE Amy CRY..you FUCKING BASTARD SON OF A BITCH... WHY WONT OTHER GUYS TREASURE WHAT THEY HAVE? WHY? I wish so much to have one...and you PEOPLE just throw it away... WTF? why? they drop from the sky is it? easy to catch huh? FUCK?!!! you know how much it cuts me inside out to see Amy cry? fucking hell I felt like crying too..fuck...omg!!! actually i knew tonights clubbing will end up like that... i m just waiting for it to happen... you know i can even see Elaines watery eyes in the freaking dark... you chee bye kiang... if I ever know you i will freaking spit on you ok?... dont move while i do that... Seriously... Elaine freaking crazy bout you ok?...although her mouth dont say it but omg she can do anything for you...you freaking bastard guy...hey all those bloody idiots out there...can you all treat your girlfriends better not?? if shes are not good then break up lah...
You fucker she just called me...omg...ahhh I cant take it liao... shes crying and crying...and she say you wanna patch up...you better fucking change your attitude hor you chee bye... you know how many friends are with her but you?...you know? you know shit lah... you know how to eat shit thats how much you know... if you ever patch up with her and if you ever make her sad again... I will advice her to leave you for good... theres no way I will look at my friend get sad because of an asshole like you... hey please lah if you see your friend get sad over a girl, you will also advice him right?... can dont so flirtly not? can not?... you are not single ok? you are so freaking not loh... why you want to say all those things to her? no freaking cow sense ah? these things cannot say... stupid idiot oso know loh you fucking bloody A-HOLE... and I m so bad at advicing people espsecially drunk ones...SO SORRY Elaine... I made you cry again... sigh... cant guys out there be better guys...? I know we have pride and shit...but we like our girlfriends before we go after them right? why? after that still we play them out? why after awhile we get tired and treat them like dirt? I wish I fucking know... I wish I did... I know we get excited when we see hott chicks...but please... can do it while your girlfriends not around..or do it just to gain her attention?... WJ!!! you.... ahhh youre lucky I dont know you... or I will CALLL YOU AND MAKE YOU GO DOWN TO HER...even if I have to drag your sorry ass down...ok? wah lao, how can you do that to her?... how can you bear to let her break up with you? you have feelings for her dont you? oh man... got balls to hold hands but non to show up at her place to patch back?... hey being younger is no excuse ok... if I could ever go with the first girl I love I will still love her till now... but I dont have the fate non the luck... so how? single lor... and you first girlfriend oso dont know how to cherish... fuck know? you fucking know nothing>??... ahhh dont want to say liao...you go FUCK yourself lah... and go do double fuck cos you made Amy cry...fuck you, you know Amy has not much to do with it and you made me see her cry...god damn it ... tripple go fuck yourself , you fucking bloody, son of a fucking chee bye bitch, you!!! ahh FUCK...

♥ 3:23 AM

Hey lol Opps I did it again...When to Raffles Place for lunch with Amy... awww she so poor thing today... working alone and heard her say got alot of work to finish...oh but shes all done now... just got off the phone with her...lol glad to hear that shes done with work or else gonna be more tomorrow... Moveover we going to party tonight...drinking and dancing...dont know will be fun not... I hope it will be good can liao...dont want to expect too much...its just clubbing... nothing really... nah I m not gonna drive...so sian...finish playing still have to drive... I rather pay some one to bring me home... wah I thought today will be a day of no computer... so sad..it wont start up... I had to unscrew this and that, take it apart just to make it start... but I can never shut it down... or I ll have a hard time to switch it on again... I think gonna do some research on my own before I start work on Sat..then ask Mummy to change a computer... then connect the printer and shit to it...wah sian... but now its all cool...ADSL finally working...haha...life sucks without computer and sex...lol yea I haven had sex for along time so my laptop better be working... and they say Toshiba lasting...my foot!!! oh an hours before I leave for Black...
ok lah din do much today...after lunch came home for a nap...didnt really sleep...ok lah... then played some game...oh its kinda boring...
have a feeling it will be boring over at Black too, but the drinking will make me high and I hope I feel good by then...if not I would have wasted money lol... ok until tomorrow Blog...and to anyone whose reading my blog....

♥ 7:37 PM

I think I need to go for some check up lol, went to Raffles Place and had lunch with Amy Jiejie... and came back...too free le... later gonna go back and meet her...for DINNER...lmao... crazy really crazy... hey but she look really awesome in her office wear...omg... I was like WOW...she look so pretty... plus shes like tiny...so cute...lol yea we had lunch at TCC... nice place to chill and hang la... we talked laughed...pretty much had a nice time... I dunno felt really comfortable talking to her...dunno how she feels? lol oh well...cough cough...Angela!!!...lol such a dreamy name... Angela, Angelina or Berverly or Amanda or Samathan or maybe Alison, Casey, Diana, Diane, Eve, Felicia, Glory,Hilary, omg so many names but no baby girl... I want a baby girl next time...lol I m mad I know... ok later i come back and write more if theres more to write...later...

♥ 3:35 PM

Woo woke up 15 mins to 12pm lol bot do i know how to sleep late... should cherish it though cos going to PA soon... ahhh...scary...
ok saw VH1 Big Awards 2004 lol i think..ok but its VH1...and something struck me... Americans love their free world... they are really free people!! no kidding... over there you can do anything you want...dress like a rock star and go to the supermarket, nobody cares... do whatever to your car- change the colour, modified the engine, do the rimms...and so on... police cant do a shit bout it...but not in Singapore...no way... to me we are not as liberal as the Americans..i m using them cos they are the culture that i m familar with...
Singaporeans arent as free as we think we are.. we are still narrow-minded...cant really accept things that are new, creative or slightly weird... like we will start talking bout the government and the shit they do... but never voice them out to our government...actually i can understand... the government itself didnt encourage us to speak up..cos if we did they will make our lifes unbearable...but now when they have spoon fed us for so long, told us what to for so long, they want up to be creative all over... well its good that they realised that we are frogs in a well...looking into that small opening...which we call it our sky...
Yes we are a small dot in the world map... but we are a modern city...developed, the people educated and cultured... but theres one thing we must remember...dont be afraid to be different, cos we are so not the same... everyone has their own thinkings and views bout everything... we should always learn but the good qualities of other races, nationalties and cultures... thats the way we improve ourselves... thats the way we can make our small dot stand out in the world map... let the world know that Singapore exists... i know its hard, from the fact that we are so controlled by the government, that we just do whatever is said lol and not think...
I know of some Singaporeans whom seen the world and learnt bout other cultures and traditions ...they have their own views bout life... how it should be lived... retiring during their 40s lol outrages?!! no it can be done... its all bout life management and saving money... theres always a time to play and one to work hard... the lifestyle is also important...here we lead a very hectic lifestyle...its fast and no one waits for you...its like the Amazing Race everyday... its just waking up for work, lunch, get home and wait for the next day to repeat itself... everyones walking quickly, chasing the buck and now youngsters dont even want to get married or give birth...cos its so competitive and expensive just to raise a child...
Competitve because we have to hope they get into a good school do well plus the extra skills which we want them to have...music, arts, IT and many more...
Expensive because all these cost money lol... ok even if you want to just let them go to school and have no extra skills... it still cost a lot just to feed them... afraid that they go astray, get hurt, dont do well in school, do too well in school(always studying and not letting themselves enjoy) and many more...we were all kids once and all of us must want the best for our kids...be it we have one or not...right?
So...due to all the above reasons, i hope to have my family away from all these, i want to live in Australia, USA or some laid back city, i want to raise my kids in a free and stress free enviroment... let them have the childhood they deserve and not face the stress too soon which most Singaporean kids do... maybe they might be more navie or immature bout life...thinking everything is easy and taking things easily... i wont let that happen, cos i m still a kaisu Singaporean, i would want them to stand out in school and stuff...but at least they only get it at home not in the world they live in...i really hope they can be more dynamic in their mindsets, ready to accept the new stuff the new worlds gonna offer... which i think the present Singaporean lacks... ok i ll leave this topic...and get on with my boring day...which by the way its only 4pm now..ahhhhhhh...lol BYE!!

♥ 4:08 PM

Actually it started out super duper boringly... i practically did nothing till bout 8 plus at night...i was suppose to go out and hang with Junwen..but that bastard fucking asshole, didnt pick up his phone...i m quite worried bout him... yess i m not as cold blooded...please... Chunying tried to contact him as well but...same...no answer... but anyway...called Elanie, actually called lots of ppl... i thought i was gonna spend my only saturaday doing nothing... its not that i m playful but i just dont want to waste it... ok back to topic...called her then we discussed on where to go... but she was saying Kaijie and Amy have plans to go clubbing... but i wasnt sure and it was around 430pm in the afternoon... i dunno...lol clubbing again i was like ahhh boring and its only the 4 of us? yea but anyways i was feeling sleep...she said she was kinda tired...lol we agree on calling each other after a nap...so i slept till bout 7.30pm... called her and agreed to go...i was like ahhh fuck it... it was the only choice... so we went...went to Bukit Punjang to pick her and went straight to Black to meet up with Kaijie and Amy... it was really crazy... i dunno just driving all the way from Bedok to BP was already crazy... but i was willing to do it lol... ok so we were there... and guess who i saw? Jonathan Huang my poly friend... another chiongster...lol he was with some other friends some i knew, some not really... yea... our two groups mixed around in the end...had a more than wonderful time...everyone was high, i drank till my head was pounding as the music played...hmmm omg!! going to black with Elaine is so fun... she knows so many freaking people... well i had my fair share of friends in there but not as many as her...she can really get crazy while shes partying...lol shes so funny...and i saw this chick whos from this group that she knew... yea we introduced ourselves...Angela's her name... OMG!!! shes the HOTTEST gal in the club, well that was what i thought...there were others but i didnt know them so yea...lol god her long, wavy and dark hair is my dream girl's hairstyle...then her eyes, really beautiful...i wanted to just take them out and frame it on my room wall lol freaky i know but i loved them... guys and her smile...awww three words.."to die for"... but i didnt make my move...lol like i m some playboy cassanova... i thought her boyfriend was with her, there was this guy hanging with her... which in the end i knew she wasnt dating...shit...lol oh its cool...maybe i ll see her again? i hope and pray... just letting her know i exist is more than enuff...pathetic i know...sigh...what to do? neither tall nor good looking...
last night i finally met Sarah or Ah yong...i know weird but thats her email nick... i was trying to get sober at one corner and i saw this bunch of chicks...quite tall bout 1.7m ok not all, but Sarah is around that height... so i was looking and looking... we know how each other looked like but never really met up... we knew one another through IRC but recently its like each of us disappeared into thin air... i wasnt sure so i waited for my chance to talk to her...or else it will be weird right? so many of her friends looking at me...like whose this guy with this cock t shirt?!! talking to my friend?....lol but i did get my chance, i went up to say hi and it was kinda nice... i thought it wouldnt be cos i kinda had the feeling she was avoiding me when i called her some time back... but i dunno oh well... i kinda like her as a friend, i use to tell her that she had an old soul... we use to chat on the phone... lol...i really wish i can get her number again...shes really cool...lol
ok finally the partying was finally over for us, it was bout 4plus in the morning... Kaijie and i went down to MAC, really hungry...and halfway through..heard shouting but we didnt give a fuck cos its a norm to hear it... but the situation got really out of hand...two groups of malays were aguring, shouting and finally fighting... my god...chairs flew, tables fell and we practically saw few guys getting whacked by a group of more than 10..at least... gang fight it really was... we grabbed our burgers and drinks to one corner...sigh...people come club to happy they come and gang fight... gangsters...no brain...pay money, dress up and bring chicks to get whacked and chased? why cos of FACE? brotherhood?...think what movie ah? maybe they are used to it lah but its rubbish to the innocent people loh...
ok and finally the girls came down from black... it was then 5 plus, 6... Elaine ate her burger and i planned to bring her home... dunno why lah but i just wanted to... ok so we went on our way...made a detour to Timah for more food...before anything else we were joking bout Edrick with Amy, Angela and bout each other and i think Elaine wasnt really happy bout it...and took off?!!! 3 of us was like WTF?... in the end Amy and Kaijie took cab back and i went to pick my grandad, i was suppose to...but i was lost and very tired...so i decided to head home...even had a hard time doing that...heading home... got home and had to listen to my Moms lecture bout her feelings to wards the family, cos she had to do everything herself non of us helped... i heard it before just not after a whole night of partying...Mom!! stop it please i want to sleep...she needs to pick this time to scold me...sigh...just my luck lah...
ok that was my night...a really crazy, happy, sad, surprised, angry, lost and unlucky one....lol later me blog...

♥ 11:26 AM